I doubt I'll live to see this day.
After the events of the last few weeks, I've set a goal to wake up this morning and be okay.
In case you've missed it:
January 8th: Gators play Sooners in National Championship game. I truly think the Gators will win, but if they don't.. This is also Krystle's birthday, the chick who totally fucked me over last night. I'm guessing she's not done ruining my life and will find a way to mess this day up for me. Strike 1.
January 9th: April gets married. We dated off an on for 8 years. I totally messed it up and take full responsibility for losing her. She gave me a million chances to just realize what I had and I never could. I could never convince her that we believed the same thing but took different paths to get there. Now she's replaced me with a great guy and I have no chance of this one falling through.. Strike 2.
January 10th: Kayla gets married. I could see this one not happening and this is my ace in the hole of survival. Saw her wedding invitation today, broke my heart. I knew she was getting married but it wasn't real until today. Ultimately I have a million reasons why I'm glad she's gone, but it still hurts to see her with someone else especially the way things went on.
Some good news, Ryan got out of jail today. A huge part of me has been missing without him. Part of what keeps me sane is knowing that I have to be there to carry him through his mistakes. I'm afraid he's changed now and he'll be able to carry himself, and that will leave me looking for someone to fill that void. This is NOT a good thing.
I'm excited to see him. He's got all the potential in the world to succeed. I hope he figures that out before it's too late.
Picks will be tomorrow. I'm too drunk tonight and far too depressed to make rational decisions.
Went out for Get Drunk Thursday with Jimmy, Adam and Cindy. This 35 year old waitress at our favorite dive bar has been eye-fucking me for weeks. She continued to do the same and I felt like pushing her for info. She has a boyfriend which is fine. I wasn't really interested but I had to establish it.
I'm not sure what I'm doing with myself. I'm so obsessed with attention that I'm doing seriously counterproductive things like not cutting my hair and dressing like a complete douchebag. The girl of my dreams could see me any day, and odds are I'll be wearing some fucked up shirt with a Flock of Seagulls haircut.
4 comments:
Yes I'm back and here for you like a rash you get in Mexico and cant get rid of....OK...I have lots to talk about and I better hurry before the rent a cops start wondering why I am laughing at my computer...ok first off "Krystle Meth" (that is my name for her). Dude have a shot and chalk it up to a learning experience...women that age and life style are like a hard-on they come and go with a stiff breeze...that is why I am saying and will keep saying HIT AND RUN!! dont give her a chance to stomp on your balls. She is 19 i have socks older than her! Ok onto the chicks from the past getting hitched FUCK THEM!! yes it makes you think what if...and that is cool think about it for about 5 minutes than make a booty call to some bimbo and HIT IT! I told you what you could do IF you go to any of these shin-digs...give the dumbass (groom) a handshake half man hug thing and whisper "I HIT THAT" trust me you will be leaving the party with a grin. Ok now back to the craigs list ad. I need some direction here..what do you want? Do you want a relationship (sorry saying that word make me vomit a little) or do you want 4-5 POA booty calls that you call they put out...no dinner no movie they come over you hit it they leave pretty simple concept. Get back to me on what you want...remember the average american male lives to be something like 75-80 years old now you settle down to early and you will be playing checkers with yourself in the old folks home wishing you had nailed a few more women. Ok parting shots time..."prick tease" will someone PLEASE tell her to either start giving me a lap dance or quit wearing the clothes she does I am either going to have a heart attack or bust a nut i dont know which...also do you think it would be possibe for us to do a calendar (naked of course) with chicks from the office think of the money we could raise for the kids or food bank...just a thought :) PS...I have 11 of the 12 months picked out already. Ok I need to get to work so head up, chest out, gut in and trust me it will get better Mr. C......Landlocked Surfer is OUT
kayla is getting married??????
Ya she's getting married. Jan 10th
the flock of seagulls hair would definately seal the deal. in a good way.
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