The Pending Implosion...

Sorry for the delay on posting. I was doing this new thing called ork.. or maybe it's work. i think it's a silent "W". I can tell I'm stressed out because I can't quit farting. The smell is surpassed only by the burn on exit.
Weekend in review.. deep breath.. and... GO!

Ok, So Friday I had no plans. I schedule my days in 20 minute blocks. I know exactly what I'm going to be doing at least 24 hours in advance or I can't function. I don't like to plan farther out than that unless it's something I'm doing alone or with my family.. who prove to be the only reliable people on this whole fucking earth.
I got off fairly early, Natalee was shady about going to dinner so I just blew her off. Sorry for missing your party bean.. wasn't in the mood. My sister got in a car crash Friday night. She's okay but her car is messed up and she doesn't have insurance. Perfect! I helped one of my best friends from high school move into his new place. I'm excited for him to be here full time around the first of the year. He's a return missionary and good with the ladies. Took myself to see Four Christmases. Vince Vaughn as Vince Vaughn is always great. It's like Swingers but all grownz up.

Saturday morning I got up and helped Holm move. After not talking to Krystle for 24 hours I was starting to panic. She texted me about noon, I was already home from moving and bored out of my mind. She was sick.. I cleared the Tivo out and just kinda hung out. she didn't commit to us hanging out so I just kept the day open as free time so I didn't make other plans. I cleaned the house and stuff. At like 18:30 she woke up from a nap and texted me, so I called her so she couldn't be flakey. She committed to come over and got in the shower.. but she didn't show up til fucking 10pm.
She was there til like 4am, which was cool. we watched The Dark Knight and laughed. we cuddled on my bed but I didn't really make a move. she added me on myspace that night. After she left my roommate Alisa commented that she thought things went really well.. that she could hear us laughing and having a good time. I read through her page. she has all these "if you want to date me read this" type questionaires.. stuff she hates like "don't blackberry while we're hanging out" and things like that.. I've been trying hard not to do anyways but I'm definitely not going to do now. We were supposed to do lunch Sunday, before I went to watch football with the boys.
She never texted. Finally at like 1300 I texted her and asked if lunch was off. At like 3 she finally replied and said she had stuff going on. No biggy, i wasn't expecting us to hang out all day yesterday.. I just expect decent notice if you're backing out on plans. She hasn't replied since. I figured I'd hear from her around noon like usual today. Nothing. I'm sure I've fucked it up already.

Met Patrick, Kim and Will at Lumpy's around 2. It was great. There was a new waitress who was trained by Panface, so she knew to take care of me. I told her I wanted my straws cut in half and she did.. I also had Panface pick my lunch. She picked prime rib sanwich. It was okay but I've had better. Will had never experienced full blown John Coyle, so I treated him to the entire gambit. By the end of the night I think he actually tried to kiss me. Okay not really but he did say he was cheering for the Gators, and he's a huge flaming fag of a Vols fan. I was really really drunk so after they left I hung out and flirted with Panface for another hour. That got me sober enough to drive to the strip club, where I spent the next 4 hours sobering up. Closed on a new girl there, Jessica. For those of you from Vernal.. she looks exactly like Tawny Kay. That's enough reason to marry her no questions asked.

I've been emailing with April this morning. She's the only person who really gets me. Only problem is she's about to complete her lease-to-own program on her Stunt Cock and get married January 9th. She has a psychology degree which is a prereq for dating me I believe. Here's her advise:

" I want to say this in the nicest way possible because in the long run it will help you, but you need to overcome this. It could be nearly impossible to make a relationship work if you can't learn to be flexible. If it is a huge deal every time something doesn't go exactly like planned, it is going to be hard for someone else to deal with that and to want to deal with that. Life happens, it requires flexibility and compromise. I would say next to honesty and commitment, that is going to be one of the most important things there is. "

Gambling went Okay. I finished 2-1-1 with J Sant so he's forking out 5 bucks. I need the Browns to keep it under 14 to break even with Volante.

Poll Question:If you pick up an underage girl at a bar.. take her home and then end up getting Statutory charges against you.. can you sue the bar? or at least use them as an excuse to get off the charges? I mean.. Isn't that the whole point of paying your cover charge? I expect them to do my ID checking for me!

Bowl game picks will be up on the 18th. Every game with spreads. 5 bucks a game max.